This is a very simple question. The answer has been shown to me dozens of times throughout my life. And, yes, I am still not married. The basic reason is that when you are spending time, money, and attention on the stereo system, you are not spending that time, money, and attention, undividedly, on her. It has nothing to do with the stereo system. I've had this result with car hobbies, sports hobbies,etc. The bottom line is: What's hers is hers, and what's yours is hers. You will not stray from this concept or she will find someone else who will "toe the line". Needless to say, I don't "knuckle under" to stuff like that very easily, so I remain unmarried. On balance, I'd say I'm lucky, because all my married friends are going through divorces and losing their houses, and everything. They adjusted their lifestyles and priorities to suit the wife, and in the end, they were told,"I think I can do better" by their wives. You may not think you can "upgrade" a woman, but the woman sure as hell thinks she can "upgrade" from you. And her eyes are open to it every day. But, not till she sucks every last drop of blood out of you, first. And, has the next "victim" firmly in the sights. And the older you get, the worse it gets. At least in the teenage years, you have the "off chance" that they might actually fall in love with you before they "get wise". By the time they are in their 30's and 40's, forget it. They're dating your bank account. They measure their control capability by how much they can swerve you away from your central "core interests and values". If you resist, you are in the dog house. If you continue to resist, you are out the door. Notice, that they never complain that you spend too much time cutting the grass, or painting the house(improving "her" assets). It's the ability to influence what YOU really want to do, that is the guage of her control level, and that is why it becomes the issue. In her mind, it is only one short step, from there, to losing control of the money, and that is unacceptable. That's it. You may consider it harsh commentary, but we're talking about some very harsh, cold behavior. Just look how often you see on the Audiogon threads about "If I get speakers bigger than a shoe-box, I'll have to get divorced. Is this rational? No. That is because the speakers are NOT the issue. The issue is control. Mercenary? Yes. Heartless? Yes. That is the root of this issue, that nobody really wants to talk about.
Girlfriends and wifes, how do YOU cope?
I would be very interested in finding out how one manages to justify (or sneak in the home) expensive audio equipment without having to sell your soul to the Devil? It's quite a challenge for many of us I think. I heard of someone buying a Bel Canto DAC and telling his girlfriend that " Oh it's just a $ 100.00 power conditionner", or whatever. Seem like we need to get creative here if we can pursue this crazy hobby much longer! Regards All...