No, I'm afraid it doesn't go that deep. And please, stop with the puns! it Hertz!
Ever wonder why things are screwed up?
While this story does not relate directly to audio, a undeniable example of the importance of a horse's ass and the role of specifications.
STANDARD RAILROAD GAUGE:
US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number.
Why was that gauge used?
Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US Railroads.
Why did the English build them like that?
Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why did "they" use that gauge then?
Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
Okay! Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.
So who built those old rutted roads?
Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and England) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.
And the ruts in the roads?
Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.
The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. And bureaucracies live forever.
The next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse's ass came up with it, you may be exactly right, because the Imperial Roman war chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war horses.
Which leads us up to today, the space age.
When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory at Utah.
The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site.
The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel.
The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.
So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years
ago by the width of a horse's ass.
STANDARD RAILROAD GAUGE:
US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number.
Why was that gauge used?
Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US Railroads.
Why did the English build them like that?
Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why did "they" use that gauge then?
Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
Okay! Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.
So who built those old rutted roads?
Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and England) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.
And the ruts in the roads?
Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.
The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. And bureaucracies live forever.
The next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse's ass came up with it, you may be exactly right, because the Imperial Roman war chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war horses.
Which leads us up to today, the space age.
When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory at Utah.
The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site.
The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel.
The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.
So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years
ago by the width of a horse's ass.
Showing 5 responses by rel
Hard to believe, but somehow certain pillars of the Audiogon community seem to have been duped by an Internet Hoax--and not a very recent one at that! Folks like Albertporter, Bishopwill, and Sean, known for their many sober, thoughtful, well-informed and intelligent contributions, have somehow fallen for this one hook, line and sinker. Sean, at least, has a decent excuse: his critical faculties seem to have suffered as a result of excessive exposure to Mico$oft products (sorry, couldn't resist). The rest will have to provide their own excuses. Fortunately, there is a bright side to this otherwise tawdry incident. Apparently the Audiogon bylaws (which explicitly prohibit the propagation of Internet Hoaxes and Urban Legends) require that Albert forfeit his system to me (yes, ALL of it--and if you don't believe me, check with cornfedboy). The curious and/or dubious can confirm the hoax at such sites as TruthOrFiction.com (http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/railwidth.htm) and at Railway.org where can be found the exhaustive treatment (written in mid-2000 fer chrissakes!) entitled "Railroad Gauge: The Evolution of Railroad Standard Gauge or, Roman Chariots + Railroad Standards = Horse Poop" (http://www.railway.org/railroadgauge.htm). Oh, and that story you heard from the guy in the bar (you know, the one who swore it actually happened to a friend of a friend of his) about the dude who went to Bangkok, went out drinking and woke up in a bathtub full of ice with a kidney missing--that one's not true either! |
Albert, Your reluctance to admit culpability and forfeit your most impressive system is entirely understandable, but claiming your post was merely a "much needed," off-topic "break" simply won't cut it! I have absolutely no problem with off-topic (or even flat-out irrelevant) posts. The problem is that this story, amusing and charming as it may be, is a total fiction! I am not an unreasonable person, though, and since my current dwelling would be inadequate to accommodate your fantastic system, it will probably be at least a couple of months before I can relocate to suitable digs. By that time, you will have no doubt discovered all the minor deficiencies that had previously escaped your attention, and will be ready to scrap the whole thing and start from scratch. Seen in this light, I'm sure you'll eventually come to realize that I'm actually doing you a huge favor--something Im more than happy to do for such a distinguished Goner! |
Maybe not just yet (screwed, that is), but if your next post is about how Andrew Carnegie, J.P. Morgan and their ilk actually amassed their fortunes peddling condoms, and hence were originally known as "Rubber Barons," I will be forced to immediately dispatch "Vinny," my business associate, to pick up that system at your condom-inium! But by promising not to promulgate any further internet hoaxes, this unpleasant situation can be completely prevented --your promise could then be considered a prophylactic! |
Detlof, Never learned so much in so little time?? Does this include those nuggets of received wisdom we all carry around, ready to cite at the drop of a hat, such as: we use only 10% of our brains; you must drink 8 glasses of water per day to stay healthy; 80% of our body heat is lost through our heads; ice-cubes freeze faster if you make them with hot water; or if you put enough monkeys with typewriters in a room they will eventually reproduce the complete works of William Shakespeare? And since this is an audiophile site, we can add: Bose makes the best sound systems available--anything more expensive is just a waste of money! Please see my post from 7-30-02 (above) or check out this link: Railroad Gauge: The Evolution of Railroad Standard Gauge or, Roman Chariots + Railroad Standards = Horse Poop and let us know what you think. |