Do you ever find yerself...

Yeah, I was at a strip club with a bunch of buddies, and I said "when that chick [stripper] faces our way, her rack looks two Anthony Gallo A'Divas sitting side-by-side." My friend Clarence said, "just shut and get a lap dance!"

Actually, as some A'GoNers may already know, especially Marco, I tend to use metaphors relating to WOMEN when trying to describe the way a certain audio component sounds.

Here's an excerpt from partially uselful review I posted late last year:

"The BC21 is Maria Grazia Cucinotta from the movie Il Postino. A six foot tall, smoldering, simple peasant girl and Mediterannean beauty standing across the foosball table with a look of defiance and overt sexuality daring me to take the ball from her mouth. Some audiophiles might hesitate to take her home to meet mom..."

So in this case, it's the opposite of what you ask, heheh.

An expensive restaurant is like esoteric audio equipment.

You usually get what you pay for, whether it be posh atmosphere, fancy European chefs, rare delicacies or an expensive hand crafted faceplate.

If you barf your high dollar meal all over the table, you leave hungry and a lot poorer.

A foosball in her mouth? Those things are filty.

Yeah, who knows what other fisherman's mouth that thing has been in.

That explains the smell!

If it's fish, it may not be the ball.

I try to keep all principle players in the loop and on track with the evening program ,so my metaphors are usually easy to follow and on rare occasion incite a chuckle.Imagine the 3 stooges talking to each other in short audio related insults with my little selections which should readily translate....

"you been in a all night jam session?"

"screechy high end with no bottom"

"well engineered masterpiece"

"to much midrange bloom"

"behold the mighty stylus!"

"put your antenna up and find that station!"

"pick a better tune"

"get a different record"

"I ain't your dads music"

"Hey you sound like a stuck record..."

"details are in the grooves"

"I think youv'e flipped your record"

"I believe your stylus has jumped its track"

"your like a flashing 12"

"lemme see your remote please..."

"lost leader eh?"

"so spankin' new it still has mold release!"

"stuck on three and a quarter IPS huh?"

"1/2 speed bastard" (cheap clone of a quality symbol, a stretch I know,but at the time it worked perfect)

"check your speed,I'm not getting you"

"volumes to low"(point at ears while saying)

"Hey your tapes done,stop your flapping"

"just like a blown speaker,all I hear is buzzin'."

"rewind and replay please"

"fast foward and finish please"

"play that back for me?"

"punch repeat"

"rewind and erase please"

"eject now!"

"hit stop"

"I think your disc is in upside down"

"when I need your opinion I'll press play"

"all you give me is static"

"is that a spanish station?"

"I can't listen to you both in stereo!"

"I didn't fall off the record press yesterday"

"I wasn't recorded yesterday"

"your in the wrong part of the instruction manual"

"who plugged you in?"

"who turned you on?"

"my fuse is blown"

"Wrong station!!"
"wrong format!!"
"wrong media!!"

LOL@Clbeanz!

I was expecting the quote from Moe, "Quiet! I'm broadcastin'!"

I love, "behold the mighty stylus!"