Elizabeth, I understand your frustration. Manufacturers can set the rules as they please, and you have to understand the dealer was following them. As far as the dealer refusing to deliver the speakers to you, they are slitting their own throats, but that's their prerogative. As far as I'm concerned distance isn't a problem, and in fact I've sold speakers and other equipment to people much farther away than you, including delivery and setup.
Definition of Local Dealer
Oftentimes in an Audiogon/eBay ad from a dealer, you will see the phrase, "only offered if no local dealer", "support your local dealer", or similar verbage. Question: What constitutes a "local dealer"? One who is located in the same (large) city as you? A city 10 miles away? 50 miles? 200 miles? What is a reasonable distance/travel time? Does each manufacturer have its own definition of "local dealer"? What do y'all think?