cd/dvd player with digital remote volume control

The remote on my Oppo 970 controls the volume on the digital outputs.

IMO, for best possible sound quality you should not use a digital volume control. Digital volume controls work by reducing bit depth, 'eating' bits of resolution. Once you go lower than 16 bits it sounds like an Ipod with a weak battery and cracked earphones.
Analog volume controls do not lose resolution or bit-depth, that's why Wadia players have part analog attenuation and part digital attenuation.You are supposed to do most of the attenuation in the analog domains, which is less harmful to sound quality. Read the Wadia owner's manual for an explanation.
DCS and Audio Aero players do 100% analog attenuation and sound superb at all volume levels.

If you really want to experiment with digital attenuation, Behringer sells a suitable and inexpensive unit, the DCX2496. At the price, if it fails your expectations, you will not be too frustrated.
Good luck

Agree with Casouza this is not the right way to go for maximum quality. It may work well enough on compressed pop but on a great recording you are likely to lose detail and dynamic range. I'd suggest an analog preamp with remote between you Apogee and Bedini or something like the DAC1 HDR (close enough to perfection, according to the audio critic, to be overkill for audiophiles but still a useful tool for professionals).

I just got a new Oppo 980, works great, sounds fantastic, great design, and has a single remote for all functions I need.

THANKS for the great tip Ecruz!