A couple of years ago somebody introduced some speakers that were basically planars with a small cone speaker that were covered with famous art and were made to be hung on walls. They were claimed to sound pretty decent, but that was just by the show reports and new products sections of magazines so who knows. Anyway, probably the highest WAF speaker I've ever seen.
I'm sure your divorce alternative is tongue in cheek, but unless you're a kept man, you should adopt a slightly more demanding attitude. That's a long list of "can'ts" - there has to be some reasonable compromise somewhere that you can have a decent setup without so many constraints. Maybe you have other priorities where you put your foot down and just can't have everything, but if music is anywhere near the top of your priority list, you need to tighten your belt and set some better ground rules for the "negotiations". -Kirk