Kevinmcd,
This is a first, in ownership, demos, and research of Ayre equipment. I have NEVER read an individual state that they prefer RCA over XLR, if the equipment was setup correctly and the equipment was synergistic.
Maybe the AudioQuest was the culprit? I have owned (and still own AQ speaker cable but will be replacing soon), and can personally vouch that this cable line is not the most synergistic with Ayre equipment. Highly recommend: Cardas Cables, particularly Golden Cross or Golden Reference. Since I have never personally owned or demo'd Ayre's cables, I cannot make a recommendation.
But, as an owner of a number of AQ cables (speaker and interconnects), I can personally vouch that AQ is not the best match for Ayre equipment. I suspect this hindered your audition.
