I am sure many of you has gotton into a terrible conflict with your "House-Ruling-Monster"... Your girl, your wife... Maybe right here, right now; whenyou are reaing this, you've just got out from one... seems like they can't stop complaining about your so called "Huge Big Black and Silver Boxes"... b_tch about your "Water Hoses"... claims that it's a waste of money & time... Shoots out "bullet" like a M16.
For once, maybe I can think of some Pre-Customized answers to those ANNOYING & UPSETTING complaints. They might be fight-causing but sometimes, they work just GREAT!
(**This is on your own risk! Dont come back crying if you get smacked or beaten up by your monster...)
TOP TEN "WHAT-TO-SAY WHEN...":
1.)When your wife complaints that you are spending too much money on "whatever-you-just-bought-home"...
ANSWER: Tell her that her $300.00 Gucci HandBag cost even more, because she ONLY use it for about 10 times in a year and each time is about 5 hours. 50 hours of usage makes her handbag's Average Hourly Value $6/hr. Your $900.00 "whatever-you-bought-home" WOULD BE CHEAPER, because you use that to listen to music almost everyday for at least 3 hrs a day, let's say 300 days out of 365 days in a year you listen to your music, 900 hrs of listening gives an Average Hourly Value of your interconnect to be $1.00/hr so it will still be cheaper. If the monster is still b_tching about it's price, suggest lower the amount of cuddling time and instead, higher the amount of time you will use with your rig, this way they Average Hourly Value will even be CHEAPER because you use them more...
2.)If your wife is claimming that you spend too much time with your Stereo...
ANSWER: Hobby is to release daily accumulated stress and to ease your mind from bad experiences and rough time throughout the day. They are in balanced ratio. The more stress you have, the longer time you will spend with your stereos... If you (your wife) can help reduce the stress with less complaints, it will also help reduce the time you spend with your rig.
3.) If she compaints that your speakers are too big...
ANSWER: Tell her that they are still smaller than her closet.
4.) If she claims that she wants a Home Theater too...
ANSWER: Sell one of your cheapest speaker cables and buy her a Sony/Technics/Teac/Philips Home Theater, make sure it has 10,000 colorful LEDs for her to look and 10,000 buttons for her to press.
5.) If she claims that your "Big Huge Black Speakers" are ugly...
ANSWER: Suggest buying a new one, usually Avalon, Genesis, Watt or those expensive speakers are also pretty, as well they usually sound better than the one you have.
6.) If she compaints that the ConEd bill is too high and she assumes it's because you have too many electronics...
ANSWER: Dumb the heater away and suggest to use your HUGE CLASS A AMPLIFIER or 12 TUBES AMPLIFIER for heating purposes instead.
7.) If she complaints that the TV is too small, and it look funny sitting in the middle of your "Big Huge Black Boxes"...
ANSWER: Get a projector!
8.) If she ask you to shut off your stereo so she can watch TV...
ANSWER: Get her a pair of Wireless Headphones...
9.) If she says that you have too many CDs/DVDs/LPs...
ANSWER: Tell her to go count how many pieces of clothings she has (it may take a day or two...), and suggest that either she can stop buying clothes and you will stop buying CDs also; or she can continue buying and so do you.
10.) If she EVER say she's gonna divorce you because she can't stand your hobby...
ANSWER: Divorce her and go marry your Stereos.
DISCLAIMER: Above is only a joke, I lay no responsiblity for anything bad (might be really bad) that happens if you really go use them. Situation varies and might result may be dfferent. On your own risk, my friend! Happy New Year!
