Need suggestions for speakers, processor and amp

perhaps soliloquy or tyler acoustics speakers?

maybe B&K or adcom processor and amp?

Firstly speakers must be positioned at ear Level to sound good.Dont waste your time mounting them in the ceiling.
Also whatever you buy will not sound good placed in a cabinet.
In your situation.Since your wife is more interested in looks than sonics.
I would not invest a great deal of money since you wont be able to set it up properly.
Look at PSB Atoms 189.00.
They are a great little speaker and will be invisible.
A 5.1 will do.Entery level Mid fi products will fit your room and placemt limitations.
You are just not going to benift from HI end gear with the type of set up you are trying.

What would work well if you can pull it off is a pair of monitors on stands for the front and a piar in the back on stands with a good sub.
Then you will get nice sound and steping up to some Hi end Electronics will pay off.

DO not under any circumstance put speakers in the ceiling.

I agree that cabinets are not ideal places for speakers, and while I always don't agree with Natalie... I've never heard speakers in the ceiling that were as good as well placed monitors.

There are many good monitors for HT and some are great for music too. I prefer to only comment on speakers I've heard first hand and like Msf commented, I like Soliloquy. However, unless you can get them out of those cabinets and atleast 1-2 feet away from the cabinet and walls the only one I would go with is the Soliloquy SAT 5. These are outstanding sealed monitors and won't give you the trouble that rear ported speakers like all the other Soliloquys are. The Soliloquy S-10 subwoofer is outstanding. I just read a review on it that says it's is very comparable to the REL line, offering more slam than the Strata II and more refined than the REL Q-series subs.

I'm having a hard time getting the Soliloquy C3 center to work right in my system, but I don't think it's the speaker. I would bet that 4 Sat5's, a C3 center and 2 S-10 subs (or subsitute another Sat5 for the C3)would be incredible. If you get them away from the cabinet go with the 5.0 though which offer greater bass extension.

But this is just one option. While paradigm may be considered more mid-fi than hi-fi by some... I still like them. The Soliloquys are defintitly more refined though and are among the most beautifully finished I've ever seen.

I don't know what your wanting to spend, but the Pro Ac 1SC is a great speaker also.

Your interest in Spendors suggests that you're looking for a musical sound, but you don't indicate whether the system is also for music or dominately HT. Give us a little guidance.

BTW, congrats on the new house - envy you being in a position to build a system from scratch.

I use my system for approx 60-70% music. I'm hoping that I can get wood samples from some of the floorstanders and have the cabinet stained to match ( local amish are building the cabinetry)

Unfortunately, I don't think anything but in ceiling spkrs will work for rear surrounds because of the amount of windows on the right side and the wife acceptance factor.

I'm not going all out here. I will have an unfinished room in the basement (27X 35 ft) with no windows that I could turn into an all out HT. But we have a 2 week old baby, so I doubt that it will happen anytime soon.