I'm glad you guys like that picture. I do too. It was taken the Sunday after Father's Day by my daughter Amanda. She and Barb had purchased a flight for me in the old Warbird. At the moment that photo was taken I was smiling at my grandson Scott who was being held by Barb. I hope the little guy has a small memory of that day and how much grandpa enjoyed the experience. I'm telling you guys, I could steal one of those old planes and fly it, no sweat. Thanks for posting it Joe.
I find myself staring at this monitor way too much without the ability to say anything to you guys. Speechless isn't a normal Lugnut condition. Fear isn't a usual part of my makeup either but I now fear the words I might write. I hesitate to say I'm getting a little better or a little worse. That part of living is very much like a yoyo. Up and down, over and over. I do feel better than a couple of weeks ago and can eat a real meal now. I consume a lot more fluids than before too. The unreal fatigue that goes along with this chemo hit me like a ton of bricks on Sunday afternoon. At this writing (Tuesday 7 a.m.) it seems to be lessening quite a bit. I'm hoping that I'll feel up to getting out of the house this afternoon with Barb. We both deserve a break from the confines of this house.
Tomorrow is my next scheduled doctor's appointment with chemo usually following. I've asked to postpone the chemo until Friday since Mick and Steve will be here on Thursday afternoon. That would work much better for our visit and I'd venture a guess that's what will happen. I can at least get the blood work and the doc visit out of the way so that Friday will be only a couple of hours for the infusion. I'll be really pissed if I can't have it my way.
For the sake of honesty I've decided to share with you what Jphii and I are doing. This is Lugnut at his best, IMO. Friday last Barb and I went to the crematorium to make my final arrangements. Everything is subject to change at Barb's desire but here are my plans. There will be no death notice. There will be no services in the traditional sense. I wish to leave this world in the same fashion I came into it, sans clothes. I'd feel best if one of my local friends were to witness my cremation. I'm not sure who to ask and even if it is appropriate to do so. I'm reaffirming here what I've expressed to a few, and that is I DO NOT wish to be baptized after death by the LDS Church. My belief system is based solely on the Holy Bible and have rejected Mormon beliefs while living and expect my wishes to be honored by them in my death. (Sorry about posting this but it is important to me) Anyway, Joe is making an urn for my ashes. The finished design isn't complete but let's just call it a rectangular box, about 3-4" deep. On the front there will be a recessed circle containing a vinly disk covered with gold leaf. The album label will have my name with appropriate dates and perhaps a song list of my top five picks. The photo Joe posted will be displayed below the record. So, old Lugnut's going to have his own Gold Record. I'll then reside in the music room as long as it exists.
This coming Saturday is the day previously scheduled to go fishing with Bill and Tom. I simply cannot do it but hope that Tom and Bill go together. I promise the fish will be biting just knowing that I should have been there. One of my favorite spots on the river is an eddy aptly named Osprey Hole because of the nesting raptor's that raise their young nearby each year. The river hits a rock face cliff, makes a hard right as a result but creates an incredible eddy about forty yards long at the cliff. A skilled oarsman can enter the eddy and with some effort hold the boat inside of it allowing the caster to fish to visible trout on the rise. I've caught some enormous fish there and just know that one is waiting to be caught in my honor Saturday. A big fish will work to escape the eddy if hooked and only a very skilled oarsman can get the boat out of there quick enough without capsizing to chase it downstream. That, audiophiles, is living exceptionally large. It is some of the best times you could possibly have. Maybe Mick, Steve and I could travel up there later in the day and share a campfire with Bill and Tom. That would be a hoot.
After writing about fishing I've been sitting here looking at this computer screen remembering how fortunate I've been to live where I do. Idaho is a national treasure that nobody seems to know about. Two thirds of it is public lands. Fish, wildlife, scenery to die for, historic places and unique people make up what I call home. I've said it before but feel compelled to say it again, Idaho is the most live and let live place I've ever been. It's beauty and charm will remain but it's changing so fast as to make my head swim. Where I live is growing at a pace that is truly frightening. Just like L.A., we have already peopled this valley beyond it's ability to sustain the masses with water. We've paved paradise and made it a parking lot.
Go Lance!
