I know that when I have my system "cranked" and I measure the level it is about 81-83 dB. I rarely listen at that level. As was stated above, the hallmark of a good system is that it has enough resolution and balance that it can be enjoyed at low to moderate volumes. There is a minimum level for the bass to pressurize or load the room, but that isn’t all that loud in any house I have lived in. I generally listen at the level where that has happened and not much higher.
Funny how our perceptions change as we traverse through time. At 25 years of age, I would have considered 83dB to be a mere whisper, and now I (like you) consider it to be quite loud, although I don’t think of this as concert levels ... maybe coffee shop concerts, where the performers are implored to turn it down, so everyone can talk over the music ;-)
This brings up a related a rabbit hole into which we can jump - the perceptual difference between hi-fi reproduction and home listening. Lynn touched on this above.
Thom @ Galibier