Jokes of and about audiophiles

Detlof; thanks for the thread, I enjoyed the humor of all the posts-- gave everybody +1/+1 votes-- except Eddie got a +2/+2 for an incredibly funny "take" on our sometimes goofy hobby. Craig

An audiophile was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess".

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The audiophile took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the audiophile took the
frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The audiophile said, "Look I'm an audiophile. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

YOU MAY BE AN AUDIOPHILE…
If you introduce your wife as "My Wife Aacceptance Factor"
If your Christmas Wish List costs more than the GNP of a small country
If you can name 6 brands of turntables
If your speakers can be mistaken for the Monolith in "2001"
If your idea of a "good read" is the Audio Advisor Catalog
If your favorite movie is "High Fidelity"
If you have used Blu Tack and duct tape for something other than tacking paper and taping ducts
If you window shop at Radio Shack
If your ideal evening consists of listening to 3 seconds of each CD looking for the best "demo track"
If you drive a car with an "I'd rather be listening to my audio system" license frame
If you have ever taken the back off your TV just to check out the "build quality"

If you have more money invested in your system than in your 401K
If you have copies of "The Absolute Sound" displayed on your coffee table and "Sound & Vision" in your bathroom
If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run
If you are convinced you can hear differences between battery brands in your Walkman
If you can quote an entire paragraph from an equipment review
If you have outfitted your little portable CD player with beefy external powered speakers
If the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions
If, when you go into a home electronics store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers and you butt in to correct him and spend the next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while the salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head
If the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind
If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance, just to check out how it sounds in the system

I am shocked! Shocked! I can't believe there is levity here. I fall upon wet green ink, a CD smeared with it - if you will, perfectly rounded, but still sadly lacking in response.