No Wires..... Ever Wifey Dearest Audio Riddle

Have you considered using one of those paper mache Chinese dragons? Nobody would notice the wires.

Seriously, what's your configuration? If you have a rack, and the wires are behind it, a simple black cloth on the back of the rack would do the trick. Cut slits to pass the wires. For runs across a room, just keeping them neat against the wall can make a big difference. Another alternative is to use some PVC pipe and wrap appropriate, matching cloth around it. I don't think wire will need that much ventilation, but you can always drill a few holes in the pipe. Good luck.

Hi CW.

First, Man(!) How hot do your wires get that they need ventilation??? It seems to me that the smell alone of melting insulation would call attention and get you busted!

On a little more serious note you could go to a Lowe's or Home Depot and they have perforated metal sheets...brass, steel and I think even aluminum. The down side of this idea is that these metal sheets could very well act as a capacitive coupler which would change the performance of your cabling to some degree or another. Certainly, higher resolution systems would reveal this more profoundly.

Now, for better news! Ridge Street Audio Designs has always been about innovation and, of course, we have just the ticket for this dilemma. The product I will describe here is born out of my own experience with the problem you describe. See, my wife is very big boned, is 6'8" and has a testosterone imbalance...common with women born in the cold regions Buglislechvinia. If this isn't scary enough, she's very hairy but she makes a very hearty bread and soup meal. Very intimidating but the aroma of her cooking brings a certain level of comfort that balances the horror of her imposition.

Me, on the other hand, I come from a circus family. I'm 4'3 with nubs for arms and virtually no neck to speak of. I learned at the beginning of our marriage that when my wife spoke, I do well to listen. I wouldn't say she's controlling but I do require her permission for about everything I do.

I've had to go to excessive lengths to hide my obsessive purchases of audio gear through the years. To my credit, she still thinks I'm using a Dual 1225, Harmon Kardon 330B and Advent system I assembled when we married in the mid '70s. Wire? It looks like I'm still using 20 gauge zip but I'm really not.

Sorry, had to rest for a bit. My arms get tired quickly from trying to type.

We offer a unique solution to this problem that, truth be told, many, many enthusiasts suffer. You out there Kirk? A poll I did some months back reveals that 87% of this site's posters alone are in the closet about this. It's almost shameful.

Our solution addresses any equipment purchase(s) imaginable and it's basically a one time investment. It's called the RSAD Home AC Generation Station. The (false) premise is that this unit connects directly to your utility company to filter out irregularities and noise generated by nearby industry, neighborhood residences and so forth. We even send one of our guys out posing as one of your utility company's service men to install it!

It's a 8'W x 6'D x 4H' 8 gauge stainless steel box with rack handles that incorporates 64 IEC AC outlets, 460 RCA Jacks (228 labeled "IN", 228 labeled "Out", 2 labeled "Main Out" and 2 labeled "Main In". XLR optional. Inside is...Nothing! Get it!? Hide all your new gear inside the box. All your new cables can be installed on the outside of the box to make it look like they are part of the box to make it work. You don't even have to hide the cables. Our "Utility Serviceman" will install 64 (Dummy) AC outlets on your wall to work with the AC connectors on the RSAD Generation Station. The aesthetic of the box is designed to be more imposing than my wife. It has a Flash Gordon '50s retro look with an assortment of functional LED lights with 120 toggle switches to affect the "operation Indicator” lighting sequences. Unit comes with a service manual that absolutely make no sense so your wife can't figure out how to use the toggle switches and therefore, doesn't dare touch them. It also comes with a "Safety Permit" made to look like it's authorized by your utility company, a 10 year warranty certificate suitable for framing that also states "Free Up-gades" for 10 years as electrical codes change in your area. You'll get a 500 sheet pack of "Factory Up-grade" sheets that you can mail to yourself in conjunction with new gear purchases to "prove" to your wife that "...This thing was free!". Finally, you'll even get a Flash Gordon action figure that can be programmed to say "System on and beyond!" with the voice recording by Tim Allen every half hour. Price for this rig is $13,750.00 delivered and set up.

Now, for the even better news! We just introduced an upgraded newer version so you can upgrade later! It's basically all of the above but is 22'W x 13'D x 8'H, Golden Ratio dimensioned. No need to "hide" your newer gear in here...it's a self contained Listening Room! Dig!!! The entrance is on top so it's hid unless your wife's taller than mine...unlikely. It also incorporates a quiet 60hz hum that is only audible on the outside of the box, not the inside. This causes your wife to think something working and to stay away. It's only activated when you're inside the box playing your favorite music. As an added benefit, you now can have two functioning systems! One on the outside and one on the inside! The one on the outside can be the lesser of the two systems. You can even tell your wife that you've scaled the system back because you love her so much! Price is $55,995.00 west of the Rockies and only $49,795.00 east plus...you get a free CD!

Hope this helps.

Best Regards,
Robert

My wife was awlays B=tching and moaning about all my wires. On and On, when are you going to clean up those wires . Clean up those wires or Im going to throw them in the garbage. How could she be so mean ? I really love my wires and their pretty little jackets. I dont want to hide them. I cant believe she got so hot about it. I can still hear her voice in my head and I cant make it stop. So I decided she needed a little cyrogenic treatment. Now her head is stuffed in the freezer. Does anyone know if Ridge Street Audio is giving away any Cd's with that utility upgrade ?

If you have pier and beam construction you can run long interconnect under the floor and with mono block amps behind each speaker, the only thing showing is the equipment face plates and the grill cloth.

I have everything hidden in my system. Not because my wife gives me grief about it, I'm just a tidy freak and enjoy my installation looking professional.

You can click the link beside my name (system) to see images. I do have access to the wires through a door, so I can still manage all my maintenance.

Well, as usual, I can't leave well enough alone. Seems I always forget something and since posts can't be edited here without causing needless extra work for the AudiogoN staff, I'll simply add to my above post. As follows:

As an option with additional cost, the upgraded unit mentioned above can even be installed underground. I hear you asking "What about the Mrs.? She won't allow that!" Yes she will. Again, our crew will come to your home posing as your city's Planning and Inspection Department with backhoe and crane equipment and install the new "septic system" your property needs to be up to code or face stiff fines and possibly even a lien on your property. The beauty of this is you don't even have to figure out how to hide the cost of the RSAD AC Generation Station...you just bought a new septic system and increased the value of your home! As for escaping to listen to music, we include a booklet full of inventive excuses to leave the house. BTW, this booklet comes with the standard upgrade mentioned in the above post too. Forgot to mention that. One of our favorites is the Fred Flintstone Fib: "Honey, I'm going to (Your Favorite Stereo Shop or Hardware Store). I'll be back after they close tonight or very early a.m.". Just think how proud your wife will be of you when you come home with...nothing! Go ahead, even have her search the car! And how pleased she'll be that you didn't head straight to the stereo system when you got home and better still, how little time you're spending with the system at all!

Again, Hope I need help.

Regards,
Robert