Funniest sales pitch


What is the funniest sales pitch you've read? My current favorite is one I just read today. It was,"I'm selling these speakers because they are too good for me."
makersmark
I always like the ones that emphasize that the unit is "barely used" like it's some sort of collector automobile or something. I want to see something like, "used constantly, and it works and sounds like a dream".

I also like the $100K speakers that "were bought five years ago, used for one day and then have been in storage since".
"If you're looking at this ad, you know how incredible these XXXX are." Four paragraphs later, I think I'm beginning to get an idea.

"If you pay my asking price (on a $350 interconnect cable), I'll include the shipping."

Or, leave the retail price blank when it's only 10% higher than the asking price.
Rgairns.. "won't fit on my rack, so it has to go!"

I saw one like this(LOL) The guy was selling his multi-thousand dollar amp because it wouldn't fit on his $150.00 rack.. talk about your red flags!
Won't fit in my rack so it has to go is definitely a classic. Strangely enough, I have a friend who does buy equipment only if it will fit into his armoire. But, he is always sure before he buys.

Jonathan, I also remember the "breast enhancement for the stripper girlfriend" pitch.
perfect-like new......minor scratches-otherwise mint....discoloration....no original box...good for its age......all in the same paragraph